Geek Love Pt. 2

geeklove

Why, oh why, is there a part two?

Well, geek met not-so geek and fell in love. Said geek (Me!) hasn’t been happier or more in love in her entire life.

Let me take this back ten months so that my later point makes more sense.

I met Ricky through an online dating website, and it’s really interesting how we first got in contact with each other. I was online browsing profiles when I came across Ricky. Initially I thought he was very attractive, but soon discovered from his “About Me” section that he was into salsa dancing, soccer, and played bass in a salsa band in the cultured big city of Austin, TX. Right away I was disappointed. There was no way this attractive cultured man would be interested in a geeky girl who played video games and went through a thick novel in the matter of a couple of days. So I clicked the “Meet Him” option that indicated that I’d like to meet him, but didn’t message him. I felt as though I already knew the response or the possible lack thereof.

I wandered on and off the site for an hour or so before I saw that I had a new message. From Ricky. I was genuinely surprised. In the message, he said hello and challenged me to answer some really random yet thought provoking questions. One of them was, “If you were alone at night in any city, what city would it be and why?” I found this message so much more engaging than the “Hi, how r u? Ur pretty” messages that I frequently got. I was intrigued!

The messages continued that night led to text messaging and those led to phone calls. I was finding out that he was much more than what he seemed and we were instantaneously drawn to each other. Those phone calls continued for a week before we set up our first date.

Needless to say, we hit it off despite the differences in our interests. Here is where I will admit that I was wrong in the way that I presented this topic to begin with.

I stated that geeks should date geeks in my original post. I was convinced there could be no other way. I do believe that this is still partially true, but there was one major difference.

 

geek

noun\ˈgēk\

: a person who is socially awkward and unpopular : a usually intelligent person who does not fit in with other people

: a person who is very interested in and knows a lot about a particular field or activity

 

This blog serves the purpose of revealing to others that geeks aren’t always socially awkward or unpopular. However, the second definition always holds true.

In that regard, a geek should date another geek. By that I mean, a person who is very passionate about one or more subjects should date someone who is the same way. The major correction I’m making to my initial blog is this: The subjects that each geek is passionate about need not be the same!

After ten months in a loving happy relationship with someone who hardly plays games, reads, or indulges in the purchasing of one too many geeky t-shirts, I’ve found that the most important thing is that we can relate to each other’s passions because we have our own. We also respect each other for being passionate no matter what it’s about. The icing on the cake is our equal openness to trying and experiencing new things; particularly what the other is passionate about.

Don’t get me wrong though; there are both sides to this coin. Some people are so closed minded that they unconsciously require their s/o to be into the exact same things. However, it doesn’t have to be a problem that she doesn’t play Black Ops or that he doesn’t want to read steamy romance novels. As long as two people can keep an open mind and understand the passion his/her significant other has for one or more subjects.

Personally, I think geeks have some of the best understanding of passions hence why geeks should date geeks.

In the past ten months, I have turned into a big FC Barcelona fan from watching the games with Ricky when I’ve never watched soccer before in my life. At the same time, Ricky has admitted to being a fan of Harry Potter after he reluctantly agreed to watch all of the movies with me for the first time. I may not be ready to purchase each year’s Barca jersey and he may not be interested in reading the bulk that is H.P. but we were open minded and found these new interests through each other.

So there it is. I stand corrected, albeit partially corrected but still!

 

~ Britney

 

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Geeks: The Functional Nerds?

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I always used to call myself a “functional nerd”. I don’t know why, but I always liked the term “nerd” better than “geek”. I pretty much had them reversed in my head. Little did I know that what I really meant was that I’m a geek!

The reason I dubbed myself “functional nerd” was because I was an individual that did geeky things, but could still function in a social situation. Now I’m no social butterfly, but I enjoy going out, have drinks, dancing, ect.

What really made me come to this terminology was dating. Being a geeky girl, I did often go on dates with guys interested in the same things. Oh boy, did I come across a lot of “no-so-functional nerds”. They were awkward, didn’t seem to know how to act, and sometimes didn’t even appear to want to be there. In truth, these guys were actually nerds. Nerds are often into similar things as geeks, but not as socially adept and don’t usually step outside of their nerdy comfort zone.

So my “functional nerd” definition is actually that of a geek. The “not-so-functional” defined nerds.

I hope I haven’t lost you!

Now let’s backtrack to those guys I mentioned that I’ve dated. I thought it may be amusing and what have you to share one of those bad dates with you.

For the sake of privacy, we’ll call the guy Joe. I met Joe on a popular online dating website.

Joe was a fairly attractive guys, into a lot of the same things, and so I messaged him. Needless to say, things went well with the messaging, then texting, and lastly phone conversations. There did seem a good possibility we would get along so we set up a date.

Our meet up location was Starbucks. As luck would have it, I showed up first. (Sarcasm) I have yet to decide which is worse: Arriving first, or them arriving first and waiting on you. But I digress.

I settled in at an outside table to wait, and as soon as I saw Joe get out of his car and walk over I knew I was in for a weird date. Let me describe to you what I saw. He was wearing a dark green sweater tucked into black Dickies pants that were then tucked into tall black combat boots. This could be normal, but throw in a belt with a huge Invader Zim belt buckle on the front and it just went odd. To baffle me more, he was even wearing a floor length black trench coat over all of this. He stood out like a sore thumb on this day that was neither cold nor hot.

If the outfit wasn’t bad enough, he looked older than he was in his photos on the website. IT wasn’t flattering either. So here I was, unable to duck out of the date as it had just started. So I sucked it up and convinced myself that it really couldn’t be that bad, could it?

The date almost immediately changed locations. He suggested we go look around the mall and I agreed, but since we drove separately he offered to drive me. I agreed. (BIG MISTAKE!)

So we get to the mall, and I find out really quickly that Joe has no idea what personal space is. As soon as we walked inside, he reached over and poked me in the side! Talk about weird. I didn’t know how to react, so I just tried to laugh it off. Well, he pushed it and asked, “What, no poke back?” I jokingly said no, but he persisted again. “So you don’t do poke wars?” Seriously?! Again, I tried to laugh it off and said no. Believe it or not, it took a while for him to let it go.

From here on, things progressively got worse. Joe decided to not only direct where we were walking, the pace (fast) at which we were walking, but also the conversation. I literally could not get a word in, nor did I get to stop and look at any stores. This mall is shaped in a “U”, mind you. We entered at one end, and walked straight to the opposite because Joe was keeping such a fast pace that we had no time to stop. Did I mentioned that he occasionally decided to try the poking thing again? Yeah, awkward.

As this.. “date” went on, I was seeking comfort by texting my friends. This seemed the only way to stay sane, after all. Well, at some point Joe realized that we actually hadn’t been in any stores. So we went back and I slinked away to the other side of the store to continue texting my friends who wanted to know what was going on. Joe, however, decided that it would be a fine idea to come up behind me without my knowing and find out who I was texting! He did this a few times actually, even going as far as reading the text and asking me what was going on. I couldn’t believe he would do that! It was completely out of line.

Things continued like that until I think he finally clued in that I was ready to leave/wasn’t having a good time. He drove me back to my car, and I made my exit before he could even think about trying to kiss me!

Joe was the perfect example of a nerd. He liked a lot of the same things, but he didn’t have a clue as to how to act on a date or in general. I received no respect and no personal space. This was the reason why I came up with the thought that I want to date “functional nerds” which has evolved into: I want to date geeks, not nerds!

Hope you enjoyed my story! It was definitely an interesting date, and I learned quite a bit. FYI, girls, don’t agree to be picked up on first dates. Having your date pick you up might seem romantic and old fashion, but you may just end up stuck on an uncomfortable date with no get-away car. I learned my lesson.  😉

Britney

Geek Love

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Geeks and their relationships are something that I’ve mulled over quite a bit. Being a geek and also not so geeky has allowed me to date a lot of different types of guys. I’ve dated a lot of guys with different interests, hobbies, and lifestyles. This has led me to a particular conclusion.

Geeks should date geeks.

At the very least they should date those who are partially geeky in some sense. Being a geek really is a lifestyle choice. Your hobbies are generally a huge part of your life, and so it is best to be with someone that can at least relate to that or is into the same things.

I have successfully been in a relationship with someone who was very barely geeky. It was nice and I was happy for a time, but in the long run I found that we didn’t relate on a pretty large part of my life.

Think of an individual that is very much into fitness. They spend a good deal of their time and days going to the gym, biking, or running. They would most certainly need to be with someone that could relate to that, if not go out and exercise with them. It is a lifestyle choice that takes up time, and could potentially separate them from a partner that isn’t so much into fitness. I believe the same thing applies to geeks.

I’m sure us geeks have all been in that situation. You’re seeing someone. Sure, they’re attractive and so nice, but when you reference one of your favorite books, games, or movies they just don’t get the joke. Their eyes glaze over as they just blatantly stare at you wondering what in the world you’re talking about. You laugh it off and move on usually, but what it weren’t like that? What if the person lit up, understood, and could make a remark right back? That’s just something else.  🙂

Let me know what you think of my theory! I’m sure it doesn’t apply to all geeks, and there just might be partners out there that can accept the geekier side of a person. For me, however, I most definitely need to date someone who can relate to many parts of my personality and life.

 

Britney