Why is there a Geeky Girl Stigma?

GnG would like to introduce: Who, What, and Why – Wednesday? Every Wednesday, Kelly and I will pick out of those categories and talk about a person, an item, or just a thought. Today, mine’s a “Why”?


Time and time again, I hear geeky guys swear up and down that they’d like nothing more than be in a relationship with a geeky girl. This would be the type of girl who would play video games all night with him instead of complain about needing “us time”, and the same type to get all giddy when a new awesome anime series starts. The list goes on and on, really.

My beef with the geeky guys of society is, why don’t you talk to us? I’ve noticed that when I walk into a table top game store, a comic store, a video game store, ect. that the guys inside don’t talk to me. (Excluding the employees!) Now normally I don’t second guess that type of behavior. You’re in a store, buying what you want, and then you leave. I can understand that. However, when you’re in a store that also doubles as a place to socialize and play table top games there is no excuse!

I’m talking dozens of geeky guys. All of them are talking, playing games, cracking jokes, and shopping. It looks like tons of fun, until I realize that none of them even look my way a second time. It’s like I don’t exist. No looking, no eye contact, no talking. You’d think I was some kind of Apex predator about to eat them alive! It may not be direct, but we get shunned. I can be literally standing right next to one of my guy friends who is talking to another geeky guy and not be acknowledged at all by the other guy.

I’ve voiced these thoughts to friends, and I’ve had the guys tell me. “Well, they’re too shy and intimidated.” On some level, I accept this. Girls can intimidate guys, especially the introverted types. However, I’m here now to let everyone in on something. Geeky girls are going to be the easiest type of girl that a geeky guy can interact with! We’re into the same things, have the same passions, and keep the same hobbies. We are the girls of your dreams.

So speak up, geeky guys! Your wonder girls are in these stores, at these events, playing these games, and yet you don’t dare talk to us. No wonder geeky guys complain that they’re so lonely in the girl department.

I’m insanely interested in everyone’s input. Are you a geeky girl suffering the same neglect, or a geeky girl that hasn’t had this problem? Oppositely speaking, Are you a geeky guy that’s intimated, or maybe one that isn’t afraid to speak up at all? Tell me, tell me!


12 thoughts on “Why is there a Geeky Girl Stigma?

  1. Amen! I don’t get it either. I mean, I do have a ton of guy friends who are geeks but I met them through friends of friends. There was never an issue to talk to me because there was a common link there, maybe? One of my best friends who is a guy came up to me and started talking to me when we first met. It also helps that he likes to talk to anyone who he thinks is cool, guy or girl. I really think it has more to do with what your friend said, which is guys are intimidated/shy when they encounter the “girl of their dreams.” We are seen as the “rare one.”

    Probably they don’t know how to approach us, especially if you are an attractive geeky girl. Or it could be that if they see you with a male friend, they must be thinking, “Oh, she’s only here because of him. Maybe she doesn’t like this sort of stuff.” It frustrates me when I find guys who like this sort of stuff and I think are cute won’t talk to me because they give me the impression of not wanting to be bothered.

    And this comment ran a little long. Sorry! Great post though. πŸ˜€

    • You pointed out a good fact there. Most of my geeky friends were met through other geeky friends. I think that has a lot to do with it. Because its almost like your friend can vouche for you.

      And oh my, does that hit a nerve. I mean the instance where they may think I’m only there because my guy friend is there. However, I don’t think that is it either because I generally wear my geeky shirts on my days off and thats when I vieit these shops. So there is a clear clue that I am, in fact, a geek girl.

      So no excuses, guys. Quit with the shunning “don’t want to be bothered” exterior and open your mouth to talk to us already! Dream girls await, and we shouldn’t have to do all the work. πŸ˜‰

      – Britney

      • I have to admit, guys might be confused by me if they see me at a comic shop because outside of work I don’t wear the typical geeky shirts. I’m still dressed all girly like in and outside of work. The assumption would be that I’m not a geek. Still, I don’t bite. If you see me purchase manga or something geeky, chances are I may in fact be a geek too. You won’t know unless you talk to me. It’s hard being us when you want the awesome and cute geeky guys to talk to you. πŸ˜›

  2. For me, I just want to be acknowledged as someone else who shares the same interest. I can understand a straight guy being interested in a girl who likes the same things, but I’d hope they’d only be interested after talking to me a bit — especially if they’re looking for something more serious. I’ve definitely encountered geeky guys being nervous around me, and I find myself a little frustrated (even though I do understand that they might be shy). It makes me feel like they are seeing me as a GIRL instead of as a fellow geek. Kind of sucks, you know? :/

    • They most definitely see us as girls above all else, and it’s like they can’t talk to us because of that. It’s so weird and frustrating! If only there was some broadcast I could send out telling all the geeky guys the truth about us. I mean, we’re human just like them. They can talk to us!

      – Britney

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  4. I’m glad to hear that! πŸ™‚ There is hope for geeky girls yet, haha. To be honest, there are a few that aren’t afraid to speak up. “Few” being the key word there. And I truly believe that geeks should date geeks, but that’s an entirely (upcoming) separate blog. πŸ˜‰

    And thank you so much! That’s huge for us as we just got started, but are working very hard and enjoying it very much. It’s been a blast so far.

    – Britney

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